Greetings. Salutations. Welcome. Address. Acknowledgement.
Alright, I think I’ve covered my bases with the greeting this week. WHAT IS UP? I’m about to tell you. Here’s the top four things you need to know about this past week:
4. The Lohan Family Continues Wacky Antics
And the crazy train never stops. Lindsay is apparently addicted to pills, and mom Dina thinks that “Shoe-han” rhymes with Lohan AND is a viable source of income. Because, as the press release says, “Other celebrities that have sold millions of shoes include Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Star Jones, and Carlos Santana.” Though I personally would have pegged Lohan to follow Santana’s example of making alcohol (as in the the fabled Santana DVX) first. Just seems to fit better. Well done holding onto that Celebrity WTF Award, guys.
3. The Wide, Weepy World Of Sports
So, the world of sports has been sufficiently rocked this week, with the NFL finishing Week 5 and the MLB Division Series wrapping up. And who wins? Well, for one thing, anyone who hates Boston teams. The Red Sox took a mighty tumble to the Angels, and the Patriots lost in a nailbiter to the “how did they make it this far undefeated” Denver Broncos. But hey, who doesn’t love a good underdog story? Or, should I say, underdahg? No. I shouldn’t say that. Boston accents don’t come off in print well.
2. Glee, “Vitamin D” and The Office, “Niagara”
While there was indeed much in the way of excellent TV this week, the two standouts for me were these fine episodes. Why? Well let’s find out.
The Office saw Jim and Pam finally getting married, a plotline that I (along with everyone in the known universe) has been waiting for since the show got started. And it delivered: an amazing, vomit-filled cold open, Dwight wearing a three wolf moon t-shirt (and kicking people in the face), Michael at his most awkward (”They’re naming the baby after you. They’re naming her Meemaw.”), and Jim/Pam adorableness. YAY!
Glee brought me to laughter-induced tears with a storyline about using decongestants as performance-enhancing drugs. Wait, what? Add in some nice development into the Will/Emma relationship, and top it off with Jane Lynch at her most acidic, and you’ve got yourself a solid hour of the best musical comedy show on TV.
1. Miley Ceases Tweeting, Y’all
Yup, it happened. And the screams of 15-28 year-old-girls everywhere are falling on deaf ears. Le sigh.
Maybe it means more people will follow ME on Twitter?
See you guys at the breakfast table, same time next week.
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